The central theme to the programmes I design revolve around the ‘self’. The ‘best self’ wellbeing model that is used in all of my work has the primordial self as the space we explore and return to time and time again during our lives. Our primordial selves are not blank slates, they come with ‘software’, for example our primordial selves are loaded with cellular memories from our parents and grandparents, which can make us resistant or susceptible to stress. Our ‘best self’ is shaped by our experiences, so how we interpret and learn from them is very important.
Your relationship with your ‘self’ takes time to develop, not least because in your day to day living you are more or less unaware of your ‘self’. Glimmers that your ‘self’ may be struggling is usually evidenced in your emotions, so that when you are away from ‘best self’ you feel ‘down’ ‘sad’ ‘angry’ or ‘nothing’. So many things you experience in your life can pull you away from your ‘best self’, sometimes these are huge traumas that flatten you, equally they can be a repetition of knocks that ultimately wear you down. The joy of your life may correspondingly become the burden, and because of this the light that shines from your ‘best self’ can become dimmed to a flicker of who and what you really are.
Navigating your way back to your ‘best self’ takes courage, because you may have to do something that you have never had done in your life before. Put your ‘self’ first. When you make the decision to do this you are likely to come up against opposition, not just from others who may find this change unwelcome, but opposition from the ‘you’ that has created your old patterns of being. My advice, borne from experience, is to acknowledge the resistance to change, welcome the challenge this brings, then step into the space of nourishing your ‘best self’, and keep stepping in….Be in what Eckhart Tolle describes as the ‘Now’,
‘If your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional, that dysfunction will be reflected in every relationship and every situation you encounter’.
If in the ‘Now’ of reconnecting to your ‘best self’ you are met with challenge, ‘become friendly towards it, welcome it no matter in what disguise it comes, and soon you will see results’.
The ultimate reward of living in or near to your ‘best self’ at a physical, emotional and mental level means having an improved wellbeing, and the potential to generate wellbeing to the next generation becomes part of your genetic code. Make peace with the tension that is generated when making the decision, and acting on it will ultimately become easier over time.
We will be discussing navigating your way to your ‘best self’ in depth in our Rest, Relax, Renew retreat in 2020, you can join us there through this link https://grayswellbeing.co.uk/rest-relax-renew/